I’m Not Really Sure

Today, I started thinking to myself whether I should create an additional blog solely for the purpose of making it a “personal” blog. I started thinking of this shortly after re-reading my posts, comments, statistics so far, etc… and it made me wonder what the brevity of this blog should be. As I’ve mentioned before, the idea behind this blogs initial creation was for more business development, but soon, it turned, rather, as a means of therapy. Considering the mental breakdown I had this morning, writing out a suicide note, I wished for my voice to be heard for how I was feeling; what my mind was going through. As you can already surmise, blogging about it was the first thought flashing in my brain like a bright, cursive-lettered, pink neon sign. Each pulse, however, came with the feeling of more disgust from the last. The light became heavier, and heavier, and heavier.

Snap.

The world I knew collapsed all around me and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it from collapsing: powerless. While I won’t go into specific details, I will say that I’m grateful for a couple of friends I was able to confide in; emotionally and mentally, both comforted me – pulling me away from the ledge.

Not normally do I ever express my feelings, open up about how I feel, and more. It’s rooted in betrayal and deadly experience from my past and it makes working through this marriage a living nightmare.

So I’m left wondering whether I should create a personal blog for more…personal details. Keep this current blog in a business development state with tidier articles, blogs, etc… But we shall see.

What do you think?

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One thought on “I’m Not Really Sure

  1. Jen says:

    I’d be interested to know, if you do branch off to a second blog, how that works out for you. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about doing the same, keeping my psychological stuff on Inside of Jen’s Head, and moving my creative stuff elsewhere.

    Also I’d just like to say that I’m very happy you have people in your life that you were able to reach out to, that helped you to decide to stay. I don’t know you personally, and maybe I’m crazy for feeling this way, but I am emotionally invested in you, and I’d miss you terribly if you were gone.

    Liked by 1 person

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