Where Are You?

To be honest with you, I don’t remember the day or month or even the year when I first started blogging. Blogging, to me, was like a new and exciting adventure. There I was, ready to start blogging about my life and its “adventures”. As many of you may well know, a lack of self-confidence is the death of all activities.

There were many times where I told myself, and others, that I would blog regularly, especially on specific days. It never happened. Why? Maybe there was also a lack of commitment or maybe it was a fear of not being part of a larger community. Well, when I started gaining some traction on blogging regularly, equally so commenting on others blogs and they with mine. Should have known that that too wouldn’t last very long.

Going from docile to posting my vulnerabilities on a global scale was scary enough – losing contact between other regular bloggers, I realized, became more frightening.

Today, I logged on with only the intent to see what was new in the “Discovery” section. A thought dawned on me that I should see if a favorite blogger of mine has had any new posts over the last few months. As the “Fetching New Posts” module loaded, a sinking feeling in my stomach rose.

No new posts since November 2017.

It hadn’t occurred to me before that maybe I had developed a certain emotional attachment or associated some emotional relevance with the blogger. My anxiety disorder began running through many scenarios – all of them negative. Not one thought ran through my mind that was a positive.

Perhaps they decided to step away from blogging, maybe there are more important things in their life they are journeying through right now. You see, these more “positive” thoughts occurred only after the flood of negative thoughts.

Truth be told, I only wish the best for the blogger – hope they are doing well.

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